Saturday, September 20, 2008

Oh Deer...

I have a theory, and it's a goofy one. I live in a rural area (Da Boonies) and not a day goes by that I don't see a shmooshed deer on the side of the highway. Luckily for me (and the deer) I have never come close to hitting one, although I know many that have had the bad luck. Sure I've seen them on the side of the road (Alive, mind you), but haven't hit one, or seen one hit, and I believe I know why. I listen to Rock music, be it Classic, Hard, Alternative, Metal, what have you, and I listen to it LOUD, and I have noticed on the rare occasion, that when I do see a deer grazing by the highway, they seem to lift their head, ever so slightly in appreciation.On the other hand, people that I know have hit one, or know someone else who has plastered one all share a similar taste in music....That's right, the devil's music: Country Music, I'm not sure of the exact percentage, but it's friggin' high, these Bambi killers are for the most part, all country music fans. Deers have very, very sensitive hearing, and my theory is that these poor bastards hear the music from miles away and they can only handle so much about being drunk, cheatin', rodeos, beatin' their wives, whatever the fuck these inbred retards have to sing about from some wannabe cowboy with a belt buckle the size of a goddamn hubcap singing outta his friggin' nose, before they willingly and happily waltz out into road just to end the torture, and I can honestly say I do not blame them a bit, luckily humans are able to tear their ears off if nessesary, part of the beauty of opposible thumbs, I 'spose. But the poor deer are left with no recourse but to commit suicide by pick-up truck. Just think about that the next time you see a dead deer, or any other poor critter on the side of the road.

People don't kill deer, Country Music kills deer

On a side note, the raccoon I hit last month was obliviously not a Metallica fan.
I would like to extend my apologies and condolences to the friends and family of Gerald T. Raccoon. And yes, that was his name, i checked his wallet.

5 comments:

Mella said...

Every time I see roadkill, I think of this blog.

TheBigOzbowski said...

That was my intention, to draw awareness to this problem.

Mella said...

It is truly at epic proportions, based on the Nascar bumper stickers available.

Atheistic Canadian said...

I'm sure you remember this.

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=FXsjzcC4Jdw

Mella said...

The Raccoons!!

I loved that show... it had my name on it. :)