The land of the free?, whoever told you that is your enemy...

Yesterday, my 10 year old daughter, Jessia, got in trouble at school...not for being rude to her teacher, bullying other kids, or any conventional reasons a 10 year old would get into trouble. My little girl got into trouble for...wait for it....Not participating in the 'Pledge of Allegiance'..Let that that sink in for a second...What kind of society would punish a child for not swearing allegiance to a goddamned flag?
As a proud Canadian, I am outraged. My children are raised and taught tolerance for other cultures and people, just as I was. But in America, these ideals are not the norm, I do not stand for this country's idealisms or treatment of 'different' people, and I'll be damned if my children are going to turn out like the majority of the youth of this country, ignorant and apathetic.
I have told Jessia that while she must obey the rules of the school, she does not have to swear an oath to this country. I never did, and never will...

Thing's that piss me off...

- Biker's who are under the impression that they own the road...BTW, the shoulder is NOT a bike lane.
- Bass Fisherman...c'mon get a profession that actually benefit's humanity...
- Asshole's who have more than two headlights...If two lights are not enough for you to see at night, wait until morning.
- Sammy Hagar....Die, Sammy Die...
- Emo Kids...wow, you little shitbags actually made being 'Goth', even more sad and pathetic. Good Job.
- NASCAR Fans...really, is turning left at high speeds really that entertaining?
- These idiots on the Internet that insist on taking their pictures from weird angles, like looking up, holding the camera up....You look ridiculous.
-Thats all for now...

Sweet Home Alabama...?

I struggle daily to understand the appeal of this song outside the state of Alabama. I currently reside in California, which, to my understanding is on the other side of the damned country from Alabama, which doesnt stop the locals from whooping and hollering in a drunken daze whenever this song plays on the jukebox or if the DJ spins it.
I feel like grabbing them all by the ears and screaming in their face that we are in California, and you most likely are not from Alabama! At least they can change the words to say 'Sweet Home California', it would fit, and make sense. But, alas, no, they insist on sounding like a bunch of idiots who are not, have ever been, and likely will not ever be near Alabama. And it's not just the Californians, it seems to be much more widespread, actually people from Alabama are the least likely to absolutely love this song more-so than anyone else in the country...
If anyone reads this, please explain why this is allowed to continue...

Things i miss...

I've been living in Cali for about 10 years now, and I've noticed there are a lot of things I miss about 'back home'

1. Hanging out with my friends, I got like one friend here, I barely see him due to conflicting work schedules. It sucks...

2. Walking around downtown Toronto just for something to do, walking around downtown here takes about 5 minutes and there's nothing to see.

3. Having an honest intellectual conversation with someone other then my 3 year old son, people are retarded here, friggin hillbillies.

4. Going out on a Friday or Saturday night, between not having someone I trust watch the kids for a few hours and nowhere to go other then a Casino, I'm stuck at home watching movies.

5. They don't have back bacon here, or peameal bacon if you prefer, I ask at all the stores for Canadian Bacon, and they point me to the fuckin ham! Stupid Americans!

6. Fries Bell Grande at Taco Bell, you can get the nachos, but no fries. I tried to give the Taco Bell people here some fries I got from McDonalds and told them to put the nacho stuff on it, I'm not allowed there anymore...

7. Ketchup Chips or Dill Pickle Chips, someone please send some...

8. Multi coloured money and dollar coins, having all the money one colour is confusing as all hell, so is trying to stuff a wrinkled ass dollar into a vending machine. People here tell me you can tell them apart by looking at the president, like I know the damn presidents!

9. Free health care, going to the doctors here is a frigging nightmare, thats why I dont get sick, too much of a hassle.

10. The wicked thunderstorms, sure it rains here, but I've heard thunder maybe two times here, I shit you not.

11. Snow. I'm serious, It doesn't snow here, it snowed 4 years ago, we got 2 inches, people went nuts, like, calling off of work nuts. I was in my front yard trying to show my kids how to make a snowman in a tee shirt and shorts, my neighbours were concerned.

12. Non venomous insects and snakes, seriously, I dont like to go outside much thanks to the Black Widows, Scorpions and friggin rattlesnakes.

When I think of more I'll let you know...

Oh Deer...

I have a theory, and it's a goofy one. I live in a rural area (Da Boonies) and not a day goes by that I don't see a shmooshed deer on the side of the highway. Luckily for me (and the deer) I have never come close to hitting one, although I know many that have had the bad luck. Sure I've seen them on the side of the road (Alive, mind you), but haven't hit one, or seen one hit, and I believe I know why. I listen to Rock music, be it Classic, Hard, Alternative, Metal, what have you, and I listen to it LOUD, and I have noticed on the rare occasion, that when I do see a deer grazing by the highway, they seem to lift their head, ever so slightly in appreciation.On the other hand, people that I know have hit one, or know someone else who has plastered one all share a similar taste in music....That's right, the devil's music: Country Music, I'm not sure of the exact percentage, but it's friggin' high, these Bambi killers are for the most part, all country music fans. Deers have very, very sensitive hearing, and my theory is that these poor bastards hear the music from miles away and they can only handle so much about being drunk, cheatin', rodeos, beatin' their wives, whatever the fuck these inbred retards have to sing about from some wannabe cowboy with a belt buckle the size of a goddamn hubcap singing outta his friggin' nose, before they willingly and happily waltz out into road just to end the torture, and I can honestly say I do not blame them a bit, luckily humans are able to tear their ears off if nessesary, part of the beauty of opposible thumbs, I 'spose. But the poor deer are left with no recourse but to commit suicide by pick-up truck. Just think about that the next time you see a dead deer, or any other poor critter on the side of the road.

People don't kill deer, Country Music kills deer

On a side note, the raccoon I hit last month was obliviously not a Metallica fan.
I would like to extend my apologies and condolences to the friends and family of Gerald T. Raccoon. And yes, that was his name, i checked his wallet.

I can't drive...55.

I hate Sammy Hagar, I mean really, really hate him, so much that I would refuse a life saving blood transfusion from the bastard, and no, it's not because of the whole Van Halen thing, although that's part of it. But he did have a damn good point in his song 'I can't drive 55', just the other day I got nailed for speeding, I was doing 70 in a 55 zone, that's 'miles per hour', not kilometers, man I miss the metric system. I checked the conversion in my car, and 55 mph is only 88kph, whats the speed limit in T.O. now? Last I checked it was 100-110 kph on the highway, thats fair enough, but 55mph??? That's waaaay too slow. Damn American speeding laws....

Welcome to....The Darquesyde.

If you've managed to get this far, congratulations, and thank you for taking an interest in whatever I decide to throw on here, it could be funny, thought provoking, frightening, enlightening or just plain odd, depending on comes forth from...The Darquesyde.